My girl.
She's a whole hand!
I went back and reread what I wrote about her last year and to my surprise and delight, while she has grown and matured tremendously, it's as if she has changed less this past year than she has in previous years. From two to three, or even three to four, there's still so much about a child that is developing, shifting, changing. For Grace, at least, somewhere between four and five we've really locked into the essence of who she is -- a sweet, silly, creative, smart and compassionate little creature. And she's outgrown all the things that make parenting a toddler so trying -- nap times, new teeth, communication issues, etc. It is obvious that she is growing fast, but I'm confident I know who this girl is, which, as a parent, is a blessing and a relief, especially when you find you really enjoy who that kid is. Since it seems we've established a baseline, I'm going focus on each exciting thing that becomes a part of Grace's character during year 5. Instead of crying and researching the benefits of homeschooling, for example.
For all the trials we've outgrown, there are certainly new ones on the horizon. I see the girl emerging, lately, the girl who likes to pick out her own clothes, to arrange her own treasures, to make her own bed. I suggest outfits, because I am highly motivated to get my money's worth from the million dollars of clothing that hangs in her closet, and in response I usually hear, as she picks out another slime-stained size 4T tee shirt, "It's my body, Mom, I get to choose what I want." Damn straight Grace, it is your body and your choice. Remind me to put away your size 4 clothes when you go to preschool on Friday. Also, it's my mortgage, so let's not store the hatchimals in the middle of the floor, mkay?
She and her sister play nicely together 90% of the time.
I'll leave it at that.
Grace is in 4K this year, a fact she'd be happy to expound upon. "I graduated from 3 year old preschool and now I'm in 4K. You know, 4K? I have a new teacher. And I get to go in the big room whenever I want." She loves school and is looking forward to kindergarten. I was working to help her learn to read and then stopped when I realized what am I going to do when she can read all my notes ("don't forget to make Grace a surprise birthday pancake") and pick up on all my spelled-out secrets ("are we out of W-I-N-E?").
Grace had some anxieties pop up recently, after I took a long weekend to visit my new NEPHEW ↑ in Washington state. Eric and the girls had a great time together, but Grace was rattled by the change in routine, I think. She was hesitant to go to school, ballet, or music, things she normally loves to do, because she felt afraid. She is starting to see the world's dangers, starting to understand how much she needs her parents, and the threat of what life could be like without us. I've learned that with this sort of stuff with this sort of kid, the best thing you can be is patient. And maybe that's why, in the two hours I've been drafting this after putting her to bed, she's come to find me TWICE.
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| Grace, looking for me, at 11:30 pm |
Bittersweet as growing children are, it is so nice to be able to communicate and reason through their fears and trepidations, and to watch them find their own courage, on their own terms. Grace was the only kid to volunteer for the fireman and paramedics when they came to her preschool; she got smothered with a fire retardant blanket, and got an EKG reading. Grace! 😂 I love it! Although, it doesn't always work -- the other day I ran upstairs to grab a pair of shoes and came down to find Grace in the hall, brandishing a butter knife, Elle tucked safely behind her, because she got a little scared. I love her flair for drama, I love that she was brave enough to protect Elle, I WISH SHE UNDERSTOOD SHE COULD WALK THROUGH THE HALLS OF HER OWN HOME WITHOUT BEING FEARFUL, but alas, baby steps. Or at least, little kid steps.
Grace started ballet this year, and Eric got a great video of her on the first day of class, opening the door to the studio and saying, "This is my dream!" It was one of the best things I've ever seen, because being a ballerina has been her dream since she was a year old, maybe even before. It is so satisfying to see your kids apply themselves and find success, especially in things they are passionate about. In addition to ballet, Grace delights in her weekly music class, and I delight in seeing her understand the basics of music at such a young age. If you have a kid and a Kindermusik studio in your community, I cannot say enough good things about this program. Grace has a basic understanding of rhythm and note value, which is great for her future musicianship, and also for literacy and math skills. When we tap out rhythms together I am giddy, GIDDY at what she already understands. As a piano teacher, I know this early learning, which often feels like play, is helping her master basic skills without even realizing it. I am so glad we share this love of music together. Or separate.↓
Her other great love is performing and we're excited to let her try children's theatre in the coming year. It's so tempting to indulge every activity the girls show interest in, because their excitement and exuberance is like a drug. These firsts with Grace are addicting: her willingness to try, fail, persevere, succeed, it's a total rush to witness. That said, I can see how easily kids' activities run the show, if you let them. I already feel like I'm always driving, and the girls aren't even involved in that many things. I know it will be challenging, these next years, to find a healthy balance of activities and downtime. Eric is our voice of reason here, reminding me to see the big picture -- where do we want to spend our weekends when she's a teenager? Gymnasiums and athletic clubs around the state? Maybe we will, if we sense a passion in either girl that would require that sort of dedication. I appreciate Eric's forethought, to invest our time now in activities that the girls can enjoy lifelong, and that we can enjoy alongside them.
To wrap this up, here are a few things Grace loves, right now:
unicorns
dogs
books --we've started chapter books! Junie B. Jones is a hit! (A quick aside: isn't it an odd thing when we introduce these big milestone things into our kids lives -- something simple like a chapter book-- and how a subtle difference can change everything? Going back to picture books just isn't the same anymore. Sometimes I wish a wise sage would appear, or Rafiki from The Lion King would be even better, entering the room and saying, "It is time," introducing the milestone in a proper way. Cluing me into the subtle shift that is the first, reminding me to pay attention, to greet the new experience and savor and bid adieu to how things used to be? That would be nice. Am I crazy? Yes.)
YouTube
GLITTER
arts and crafts
writing
swimming
organizing (hey apple, meet tree)
wiggling her baby teeth
steak, pizza and cucumbers
barbies
amusement park rides
bending Elle to her will
Grace is a sweet, considerate friend, always quick with a compliment, and she has an observant nature, which helps her take in the world before she reacts to it. (Unlike someone we know...) Her family is still the most important thing, and she often remarks, on the rare occasion that we are all seated, comfortably, in the same room at the same time, how much she loves being a family. I hope she always feels this way, though I know I will eventually have to share her, more and more with the rest of the world. They are so very lucky to have her.
I know the only thing that makes it easier is facing it together.
You've given me the five best years yet, kiddo. Thank you for being mine.
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