This is what 11 months looks like

You know how annoying it is when you type something on your computer and then you go back to check on it and your computer has turned on you, decides what you've written is garbage and now it's gone?  That happened to me last night.  I hate that.  So, round two.

11 months! What are your thoughts about how to refer to a baby's age after it turns one. I think I can still get on board with the month by month, like, "she's 16 months." But I think I draw the line after 19 months.  20 months?  What, you gonna card her next month? I digress.  Back to 11 months.

I thought she could say "Mama" before...she can really say it now, in all its beautiful (and sometimes trying) derivatives.  Mamamama, Mama, MAAM.  Dadadadada is coming along nicely, and it's usually delivered in a much softer, sweeter cadence.  Funny, that.  She tries to mimic every sound we make...."Pppp" for pumpkin (which she is obsessed with) and earlier she pointed to a banana and I said, "banana?" and she replied, "nanya."  I squealed and gave me a big toothy smile, like,  "I talk now!"  She loves to sing and if she taps her two hands on her chest in a steady beat that means, "SING ME A SONG," (twinkle twinkle, please) compared to tapping her chest quickly and randomly which means, "I want that."  And then she points and we go get it. She babbles in a way that is so conversational it makes me almost burst with curiosity.

She loves to sit in the corner of a couch or a big chair and flop around, feeling her body supported by pillows and cushions.  She likes to lay her head waaaay back and look at things upside down. She is so flexible and loves to sit in the splits and grab her toes...I've been doing yoga for over 10 and I don't have anything close to that kind of flexibility. She loves to give hugs and kisses, blow kisses, give high fives...the other day Eric and I were sitting together on the floor and Grace was playing by herself (a rare occurance.  She likes a playmate.  All the time.) when she crawled over to Eric and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then grabbed my face and kissed me too. Out of the blue.  I cried. She loves us!  All this stuff we've done for the past 11 months, it's actually meant something to her--  enough to actually show us, for no particular reason, that she loves us.  Amazing.

Almost walking.

I am constantly aware of how far we have come this past year.  The first year of life is a huge, huge transformation.  A friend of mine had a beautiful little boy earlier this month, and when I went to visit her in the hospital I was instantly taken back 11 months, back to the hospital bed, the annoying IV line, the pleasant and oh so helpful nurses, and I realized how much everyone changes in a baby's first year.  The first days and weeks are a constant state of feeding, changing, sleeping (IS SHE STILL BREATHING?!) and then gradually you morph into practicing sitting, practicing reaching, practicing rolling, and then they actually are sitting, reaching, rolling, crawling, standing, talking!  All in less than 365 days.

I left the hospital more than a little happy to return to my big baby and to not have to live life in two hour increments, and I felt like I took the first true deep breath that I've taken in almost a year.  We made it. What we started in a cozy little hospital room on a cold November day 11 months ago has transcended my wildest expectations and thoughts on what "would be," and now we have settled into what it actually is. You see, I went into parenthood approaching it like another skill I could master with some careful planning and preparation. I read ALL the books on infant development, sleep cycles, diapering ideas... I was going to be prepared for this baby and I was going to DO IT RIGHT BECAUSE I AM AN ACHIEVER! You know what? I sold those dumb books at my garage sale last week.  They were stupid and they pissed me off.  Grace didn't care what the well-intentioned but idiotic "Baby Whisperer" says about what kind of schedule she should have been on at 4 weeks old. She will develop at her own pace, she will eat when she's hungry, and she will sleep when she's tired.  It's really that simple.  But for this type-A-over-achiever-must-do-this-well-because-I-like-to-do-everything-well gal it was a big, hard, trying lesson to learn.  Where's my gold star? Where's my progress report?  Did you know babies don't give gold stars?

They just are the gold star.