Don't Judge a Book by its Husband

Have you guys ever had an experience where you were in the dark about something that, in retrospect, seemed really obvious?  Once I was nannying for a weekend and the owner of the home, who was a family friend, was walking me through their place, showing me where things were, when her daughter interrupted and said something like, "Mom, I think this stuff is pretty obvious," in the kind of preteen way that we're all familiar with.  The mom, no stranger to this kind of treatment, leaned over the kitchen faucet, and said, "so I don't need to explain that the faucet goes right for cold and left for hot."  We all kind of laughed, the tween rolled her eyes, and we went about our business.  Except, I paused...because, wait THE FAUCET ALWAYS GOES RIGHT FOR COLD AND LEFT FOR HOT??



In all my 19 years, it had never occurred to me that faucets functioned this way.  I guess I probably had intuited that hot was one way and cold was another, but I had never put it together until it was said it out loud.  I am going to relay this information to Grace and Elle as soon as they can determine their right from their left.

I think we can all agree we are in the middle of a really ugly election season.  If we can't agree on anything politically, at least we can agree on that. It is not my intention to be political, but I would be remiss if I didn't point out something that seems to plague this election in a way that is exceptionally unfair.  So stick with me, ok?

Mr. Trump has come under fire for saying some really inappropriate and awful things, especially this week, especially in regard to the way he views women.  I haven't heard any defenses of his behavior, thankfully, but I have heard others, who are quick to point fingers back at Hillary and say things like, "But look at what her husband did!"  "Remember what Bill did?"

I remember.  I remember what Bill did.  Bill made a bad choice.  Chances are he made multiple bad choices.  But the last time I checked, he isn't the one running for office.

Maybe this has never occurred to you, but Hillary is not the one that is to be judged for her husband's indiscretions and bad choices.  Her husband's behavior is not reflective of her character.  They are different people.  You can speculate what kind of woman she is, staying with a philanderer, and you will either conclude she is power hungry, or, she is living out her marriage vows.  Better or worse, baby.  Better or worse.

We are treading in new territory here, since we've never had a female candidate as nominee for any political party.  We don't know how to judge them, what's appropriate, what's off limits. Women's suffrage has only been nationally established since 1920.  That's less than one hundred years, guys.  Women were considered property not that long ago. The notion is laughable, now.  But I think some of these old fashioned notions are hanging on here...we can't see this Presidential candidate as a woman with a long career in law and politics, without also seeing her as a proxy of her husband.  Reflective of her man, responsible for all the things that go wrong in her household.  All the bad things husbands do it seems, is a reflection back on the women that love them.

Friends, this is preposterous.

We don't know what happened in the Clinton marriage.  I don't know why they stayed together, and frankly, it's none of our business.  If you think Hillary stayed with Bill so she could, a decade later, throw her own hat in the ring for the Presidency, then she is cagey and calculating.  Or, maybe, she stayed with her husband because she loves him and she wanted to make it work, and maybe that's SEPARATE FROM HER CIVIL SERVICE.  She's lived much of her life in the public eye and she's not had an easy journey.  Time and again, her husband made mistakes, she's made mistakes...these are the risks you take when you have a public life. It's hard to know what to make of her, since she's the first woman who has done this with this much success.  Maybe she's power-hungry, maybe she's incredibly brave to be able to hold her head high and speak intelligently in the face of malicious attacks on her character, when it would be so much more convenient if she would just go away.

You, with your shrill laugh and your cheating husband, go away.

Now, I'm not the Constitutional Scholar, so I'm not getting into policy.  That's Eric, and he will get into policy, but not now.  But I am a champion for people.  All of them.  It's easy to see Trump as a bad guy, sure, but he is still someone's baby, someone's dad, and God loves him just the same as She loves me.  Secretary Clinton is a Washington insider, and she's a mom, and she's a grandma, and she's resilient and brave, and she's charting a course for future women who want to be President.  If you are disgusted by how we got here, with these two nominees as the potential leader for our country, please remember we have a government for the people, BY THE PEOPLE.  We've done it to ourselves, folks.  You have no one to blame but yourself.  Don't forget that.

If you want to judge Hillary for being close to a situation you find vile and disgusting, i.e., her husband's infidelities, please remember she was not the active participant.  Trump, however, the other option, (and really, there are only two options) was/is? an active participant in those behaviors.  He is a serial philanderer who bragged in his books of bedding married women.  He cheated on his wife with his second wife, whom he cheated on and then moved on to his third wife.  Is this relevant to being able to perform the duties of being President?  I don't know.  But, again, Hillary was the passive participant.  The Donald was ACTIVE.  Perspective people. Perspective.

Now, get your brooms out cuz I have a feeling a GLASS CEILING IS GOING TO GET SMASHED SOMETIME SOON.