Turn that frown upside down, mama

Do you ever wake up in the morning and find yourself in a grumpy grouchy mood for no apparent reason?  I hate that.  Maybe it's because I look like this:

Thanks, Grace

I think those clippies brought out my Oscar alter ego because I am a grouch today. My kitchen was a mess when I came downstairs, my dog was not well behaved on our walk, my husband kept making these snorting noises while eating a chocolate doughnut, I can't stop thinking about fleas, I wish I could get my act together to get to church but I suck, my Facebook news feed is full things about that dingbat county clerk and I just wish the world would STOP WASTING IT'S PRECIOUS TIME ON THIS NONSENSE, and enter any other thing that might not be quite perfect, it's on my list. This is a bad way of thinking, of existing, but sometimes I just really like to INDULGE A LITTLE IN SOME SELF PITY.  Luckily my daughter is incredibly cute and charming and she's snapping me out of it, tiny hair clips and all.  But still.  Wahh me.


So instead of over-analyzing everything around me and writing about it, the results of which would undoubtedly be a whole bunch of self-righteous drivel that would eventually shame me and go unpublished, I will tell you about something I am currently very passionate about.  Heirloom tomatoes.

We grew that.

Heirloom tomatoes.  At the risk of coming off like some sort of yuckity upper class organic bycz, please know I am not. Grace ate 2 turkey dogs yesterday, thank you very much. An heirloom tomato is simply a plant whose seeds have been passed down for several generations.  Think of them as the family jewels of the tomato family.  For good reason.  They are gorgeous, full of flavor, and if you're in the Midwest, they're in full force right now.  If you are a gardener, I implore you to do some digging (punny) and find heirloom seeds for next season, if you don't already grow them.  I know so many people who grow little pots of romas and cherry tomatoes, and while these are certainly delicious and worthy, with a little more space, you could have the kingpin of the tomato world in your own back yard.  Do it. These little beauties go for $4 a pound at our farmers market, so it's well worth a little work to grow your own.  Especially if you're a fan of deliciousness. Now I'm going to share a little secret with you that will make those of you who love heirlooms cringe a little, because at $4 a pound one might think using 10 (or more) lbs of tomatoes for something as ordinary as salsa would be frivolous. But since we are pulling pounds and pounds in from our garden on a daily basis, and my father in law is pulling in hundreds of pounds every few days, we can indulge in a little frivolity.  And the results are just. so. worth it.

So here's what you do.  Depending on the volume of salsa you're looking for determines how many tomatoes you'll use.  Generally though, you'll need about 2/3 tomatoes (a greater variety will give you greater taste!) to 1/3 combined onion and sweet pepper.  Then you need to grab a variety of hot peppers (PUT THE JALAPENO DOWN AND BRANCH THE EFF OUT, PEOPLE), a nice fresh bunch of cilantro, and you're in business.  The best part is you can buy all of this stuff at your local farmer's market, and you're supporting someone's very worthy livelihood while eating healthy in the process.  Win win.

You might be thinking, lady, I know how to make salsa.  Stop wasting my time with your self-righteous drivel.   Stick with me.  Finely chop your veggies.  This may take awhile.  Depending upon your level of dedication you may choose to purchase an industrial grade "smasher" (AKA the beast) to speed the process along.  Mince your hot peppers and add to taste, and throw in a whole bunch of bright, fresh cilantro.

Hello, beasty.

This taste part is where I might lose some of you.

I'm going to let you in on a Nycz family secret.  I'm sorry if this isn't mine to share, but the Nyczs are a generous people and I don't think they will mind. You have to taste the salsa to make sure the balance of ingredients is on point and that the heat level is what you're looking for.  You must taste and eat this salsa on a very specific type of chip.

A Dorito.

I'm sorry let me try that again with a little less embarrassment this time.

A Dorito.

Dang it Erin.  Buck up.  You have to eat this salsa on  A DORITO. 

Yes, I'm asking you take an 8 calorie a spoonful salsa and use a 30 calorie commercially produced cancer wafer to deliver it to your mouth.  But you're going to have to trust me.

My husband's family are the ones responsible for my love of this salsa, and for the invention of the fresh salsa + Dorito combination.  The first time I helped make a batch and Papa N asked me to taste it while simultaneously ripping open a bag of the magic cheddar triangles, I looked at him like he had lost his marbles.  To me, Doritos were a chip you only eat in the privacy of your own home where no one can watch you and even then you only have a few on your sandwich to add a little extra crunch.   No way was I going to ruin this beautiful, organic treat with the white trashiest chip around.  No. Way.

Until I did, and I fell in love.  Might even be part of the reason I married Eric.

I'm telling you, it's a great flavor combination, the super bright, fresh flavors of the salsa and the salty, savory sensation of the Dorito is a win win.  It's the kind of stuff you'll come to crave every August as the tomatoes start to ripen on the vine.  We've turned several friends into full-blown addicts.

If you are a gardener and you're looking for things to do with your tomatoes, here are a few recipes I have deemed tried and true.  Remember, I don't like to do hard things, so bear with me on this.  Some of them are a little bit time intensive, but they don't require a ton of work.

If you make any homemade pizzas or pastas during the winter months, this paste will be an awesome addition where you can definitely taste the difference versus a store bought variety.  If you're attempting this, my advice would be to skip the food mill process and just chop your tomatoes, bake for ten minutes, and then run them over with an immersion blender (or regular blender).  The skins and seeds just add more depth to the sauce.  Also I don't like to do hard things. This whole blog is awesome. Enjoy!

http://theitaliandishblog.com/imported-20090913150324/2009/9/20/make-your-own-tomato-paste-estratto.html

I stumbled upon this next recipe two years ago when I was sick of making sauces on the stove top.  We generally make big batches and then freeze them to enjoy in the winter months, but these stove top sauces were coming out too watery.  So I tried roasting the veggies and BINGO, a richer, less watery sauce was born.  I'll never go back.  Also, EASY peasy.  Skip the skinning of the tomatoes, unless they're super thick and/or easy to peel off.  I'm telling you, this is so dang good.

http://www.marthastewart.com/337008/roasted-tomato-sauce

This is the part where you can share with me, via comments or Facebook, if you've got any tomato recipes that are game changers (REMEMBER I DON'T LIKE TO DO HARD THINGS). Send them my way.  It might just turn your frown upside down.  Case in point:

Sightly out of focus, but she's squirmy :)

Bon Appetit!