This is what 21 months looks like

21 months.  I sort of hate saying ages in month terms after about 18 months.  It's too much.  I can't do it.  She'll be two in March, is how I'll continue henceforth.  Except that sort of breaks my heart because this kid who was A BABY a few minutes ago is going to be TWO, and two is not a baby age. So maybe I'll stick to 21 months? Ugh, DECISIONS.

Grace's Fairy Fourth Birthday

You know how you have an idea and then you decide to pursue said idea even though you're fairly certain the idea isn't exactly feasible without your spouse's help and a tremendous amount of work, but you wait as long as you can to tell your spouse so you can be too far "in" to said idea to turn back?  Allow me to introduce you to the fairy party idea 😊.

This is what 4 looks like

"That looks like puke! What sort of dinner is this anyway?"

Welcome to four.

Movin' On Up

A few nights ago, Eric and I sat down to eat dinner after putting our girls to bed.  We do this every now and again, feed them when they're hungry, before Eric gets home from work, stifling our hanger hunger until 9 or so, and sit together and enjoy an overcooked, usually stale meal together.  We also usually drink adult things so WIN. Anyway, this past week, over a bowl of chicken bloated-noodle soup, we were talking, catching up over our week's events, how our life has changed so much recently, and Eric said something along the lines of, "I remember you telling me a long time ago how much you hate change."  "Interesting," I said.  "I may have said that, but I don't think I meant it.  I think my younger self thought that, but what she really hated was a lack of control.  I love change.   I love how much my life has changed over the last four years, I loved my old job and how many different things I got to see and do because the scenery was always changing."  "That makes sense," Eric said back to me, with a nod and a sip of Crop Circle Wheat.  Dang, I thought, nodding and sipping my Ale Asylum back, I love getting older and wiser. 

The Distraction Series, Episode 1

It has been hard for me to write lately.  I feel overwhelmed by the demands of raising two small children and the state of the world.  Usually I can make it through the girls' bedtime and then I just sort of implode; retreating inward to process everything I've seen and heard on any given day, and I'm left feeling impotent and hopeless. We all know there's a lot happening, it feels very chaotic, it feels scary to me. It's hard to write because everything I read is also angry, or worried, or divided and I just don't want to contribute to that noise, even though it seems there's nothing else to say without first addressing the elephant in the room:

This is what 18 months looks like

When I see pictures like the one above, I can hardly believe my eyes.  It wasn't too long ago we could hardly distinguish Eleanor's chin from her neck, and now look at that face.  I'm pretty sure she learned that expression from her mama.  ↑

This is what preschool looks like

I can't.

EVB

I have to tell you this story, even though it's not really mine to tell.

This is what 15 months looks like

Remember when Elle was born and I called her El Chill because she was so easy going?

Things change.

This is what three and a half looks like

Dearest Grace,

You are three and a half today.  Three and a half.  THREE AND A HALF!?  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN SO QUICKLY.  Because three years ago you looked like this ↴.

Life Hack #5 -- You're never fully dressed without a smile

We live on a quiet street that connects to a park where my girls and I spend tons of time.  Last summer as we walked the path to the park, I saw a grandma visibly jump when she saw us emerge from the woods.  What gives, I thought. This is our turf.  We're not even playing Ursula and Owlette yet. Then I dropped Elle's blanket and when I stooped to pick it up, I realized I was dressed in cropped navy sweats that I had worn while painting Grace's bedroom pink, a gray nursing tank, flip flops, a scraggly top knot, and no make up (read, no eyebrows). My girls looked darling, as kids do, and it registered that I looked like a meth head who had abducted them and was making off with them through the woods, with a quick pause at the park to keep them from screaming for their real mom.   

The Supreme Court Nomination Hearings for Judge Gorsuch - Guest Post by the Hubby

At my office, I’ve been streaming the confirmation hearings of Judge Neil Gorsuch.  Well, I HAVE taken some breaks to listen to “More Life” – an album that achieves the apotheosis of my 16 year old self: the beach level of Mario Kart music with hip hop lyrics… seriously, listen to Passionfruit and Ice Melts and tell me that stuff isn’t straight lifted from a MIDI file.  BUT OTHERWISE I’ve had all hearings all the time streaming through my desktop.  As I still fancy myself a bit of a constitutional scholar, I find this stuff pretty interesting.  And as luck would have it, the bat signal was lit yesterday inquiring into my point of view on this process. (ONE request!!!)   And as I’ve never passed up an opportunity to share an opinion before, I thought I better not start now.

This is what one year looks like

It's birthday week at our house, and we are celebrating Eleanor Elizabeth's first trip around that still-too-far-away-for-my-taste sun! Thinking back on this year, I think one of the things that surprises me most is that Elle was induced.  Since everything else she has ever done has been early, fast and ahead of schedule, I'm sort of shocked she didn't arrive a few weeks early, armed with a toothbrush and some extra diapers asking for directions to her new bedroom.   

January: a survival activity

Remember when, a few weeks ago, we were all like, 2016 is the worst, what a dumpster fire, I can't wait for this year to be over?  And then 2017 happened and now we're all looking a little shell shocked because of things like this :
http://fortune.com/2017/01/27/donald-trump-muslim-immigration-ban-conflict/

And this:
http://indianexpress.com/article/trending/trending-globally/betsy-devos-incorrect-tweet-unwanted-attention-slams-on-twitter-4486592/

Makes 2016 seem sort of sweet and sad, or maybe like the last lap with the training wheels before dad forces you out on the open road with your two wheeler.  Eh, lame analogy, but you get it.

This is what 10 months looks like

This is the part where I'm once again dumbfounded by the breakneck pace at which time passes, and I just need to say something about it: SHE SHOULD ONLY BE LIKE FOUR MONTHS OLD OR MAYBE SIX AT THE MOST HOW DID THIS HAPPEN SHE'S ENORMOUS AND SHE WALKS WHY WAAAH WHY I WANTED A BABY NOT A MINI TODDLER.

I'm in disbelief that we are in the homestretch of her first lap around the sun.  I told my mom yesterday that sometimes I feel like I should still be pregnant with her, or like instead of having her first birthday she's going to be birthed again, like I'm anticipating her arrival. A few days ago Eric asked me to plug in a cord and I thought not sure if I'll be able to fit back there...OMG I HAVEN'T BEEN PREGNANT IN 10 MONTHS WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! I'm telling you I am a) nuts b) nuts c) nuts d) birthed an overachiever and I can't keep up.

Eleanor Elizabeth is growing like...I'd like to say a weed, but in my experience, weeds are usually tall and whispy, which is not the case with my Elle.  She's growing like a tank.  Like a big, steel tank.  She's weighing in around 21 1/2 pounds, (which was not a weight her sister hit until she was 18 months old 😳) and stands at 28 1/2".

She loves to eat and has on more than one occasion, after finishing her own meal, polished off her sister's leftovers as well.  She's extraordinarily loud, especially if I put her in her high chair and don't have food immediately ready for her.  She literally screams until there's something on her tray. The other day my ears hurt after sitting next to her at dinner.  I'm not kidding.

Oh, and she walks! She took her two first steps when she was eight months old, at the library, where a gasp from one of the librarians verified what I thought I had seen.  She's been teetering around since then, a step or two or three here and there, and then this past week she seems to have really gotten the hang of it.  Crawling is still her preferred mode of transportation, and she looks like a little monkey as she scoots across the floor.  For all that girth, she's remarkably fast and agile.

Her words include: Momma, Dada, Grace, Georgia, all done!, ho ho ho (since Christmas, little overachiever) and Elsa. Heaven help me I am so sick of Elsa I can't even tell you. She's NEVER EVEN SEEN THE MOVIE. HOW DISNEY, HOW DO YOU DO IT!?  A few weeks ago we were reading a book and she pointed to a cow and said "Moo."  Out of the blue! I've never worked on animal sounds with her, and Eric paahhh do dad's do things like that? Anyway, she basically taught herself moo, so she's clearly very observant, and I, apparently, need to teach her some more animal sounds.  Since then, she's added raahhhr for a tiger, and ooh-ooh for a monkey to her repertoire.

Elle's favorite thing to do is read books, and she's got three faves that I'm contemplating hiding because I bet we read them 10 times a day.  She's currently into trust falls, specifically catching my eye when she's near the edge of the couch or seated on the ground, lifting her feet off the ground, and if I make a dash for her, she'll throw herself back as fast as she can to see if I can catch her in time.  It is a cruel and unusual game, Eleanor, but I do thank you for getting my heart rate up multiple times a day.  If she finds a blanket or towel on the floor she'll always play peek a boo, and if she's bored she'll clap her hands until you play patty cake.  Oh, and she's fond of giving me kisses; big, open-mouth, slobbery kisses, and sometimes she'll sink her one tooth into my chin, just as a reminder that she owns me.   She likes to give me a big kiss when I pick her up in her crib at night, when she should be sleeping (which she still doesn't do very well, might I add) and I melt into a puddle and let her sleep with me until the morning.  

A few nights ago we were making an evening game plan, and I ticked off a few things that needed to get done -- kids getting a bath, library books needed gathering, dog needing a walk-- and as we continued our conversation, Elle slid off my lap and headed for the steps where Eric, zone defense style, followed her upstairs. We were still talking, Grace negotiating her way out of a bath and into an iPad, all while Elle worked her way up the steps, crawled into the bathroom and pulled herself up against the bathtub and started slapping the edge of the tub, like, "Come on! You said bath, let's go!" Babies are smart, you guys. 

This kid makes us laugh and smile from the time she opens her eyes in the morning til she goes to "bed" at night.  Watching Grace and Elle form a relationship independent of me gives me hope for the future.  What a job, what a holy, sacred job I have been given.  I am so honored to be their mom.   Elle, you've saved 2016 for our friends and family, I cannot tell you what a gift that has been, to have you, this year.  If you need a dose of sunshine, I'll share her with you for a little bit.  Careful though, she's got one tooth and she likes to use it...