Textbook

They're finally asleep.  You guys they're FINALLY ASLEEP!

Today was the kind of day that started with Elle in my bed at 2 am (after trying to keep her in her crib at 9 pm, 10 pm, and 11pm) and continued with Grace at 8 am saying, "MAAAHHHM," in the sort of way that makes all the muscles in my body contract because I just knew, based on the tone, that it was going to be a very long day.  I swear she said MAAAHM 8.6 million times today.  Elle napped for 40 minutes.  Grace, not at all.  That's a lot of hours together.

What Keeps You Up at Night?

Sometimes I don't sleep at night.  Fortunately I discovered a little drug called AMBIEN which is my bedtime namaste.  Sometimes, though, when I am particularly anxious I hem and haw over taking the Ambien because I am proud and stubborn and an incredibly slow learner.  Usually, before I say uncle and then namaste, I freak myself out with some really existential shit.  Like the kind of stuff I'm hoping the people at NASA are working on.  I was talking with Eric about this the other day, how I was having another anxiety attack because of my existential obsessions, while going through several diagnoses about why I am such a hot mess -- undiagnosed postpartum depression? not being able to relax for more than three hours because I have two kids two and under? early onset menopause? RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME? -- he said, "I think about that stuff too when I can't sleep."

This is what 6 months looks like

I literally cannot believe I've had this girl for half a year already.  Summer is so wonderful but it makes time fly even faster...and here I am with a six month old, who is nothing but delightful.

This is what 2 and 3/4 looks like

It looks like independent play, like dolls, kitchens, and princesses, make believing everything, all the time.  It looks like long legs and growing out of early summer's sandals. It looks like three is just around the river bend.  It sounds like complete sentences and made up words (Minda!), like long, complicated stories, like there might be a little lisp now that she's finally able to say "S."  It feels a little stressful as she insists she doesn't need help or a nap anymore, it feels a little exciting as she keeps herself entertained for an hour or more at a time, it feels a little bittersweet because she's not a baby, nor will she ever be, anymore. It feels like love.