Life Hack #3

JK.

More like this today.

When I was in high school, I had this odd habit of waking up in the middle of the night in a panic and thinking I'd overslept. Instead of checking the clock like a normal person, I'd sprint into the shower and inevitably my dad would knock on the bathroom door and say, "Bear.  It's 2:30.  Go back to bed."  This happened multiple times. I'd wash my hair, put my wet head on my pillow and sleep another four hours before I actually had to get up and start the daily grind.
 

Raise your hand, if like me, you washed your hair every day when you were in high school. EVERY DAY.  Put your hand down if you, like me, have realized the error of your ways.  Good.  Wait.  Why are there still hands in the air?  Ladies, we gotta fix this.  You need this hack because I know you need more time in the morning.  And your hair needs to look better.  It just does.  You deserve it.  Guys, this post, like the eyebrow hack from a few months ago, may not be super applicable to you, because you are not as pretty or nice smelling as us.  But read on anyway, just so you know what us pretty lady folk have to think about.

Back when I was a serial washer, I had this ginormous mane of curly auburn hair that I would wash morning after morning, and maybe by the time 6th hour rolled around it would be dry.  I don't know why I thought I needed to wash my coarse, curly hair every day, but I did.  I didn't even exercise daily.  I wasn't in any sports (shocker), and I can tell you I didn't break much of a sweat in my choir rehearsals or piano lessons.  When my younger sisters got to junior high and high school and started to care about their hair, I would watch in dismay as they'd blow dry and curl and straighten only to wash said styles out the next morning. I begged, I pleaded, staaaahp it! Stop the daily assault on your follicles! It took years of pleading and reasoning and proof, but they are now all proud members of the see how long I can go without washing my hair club.  Sometimes I'm a little ashamed because their general level of hygenie has taken a hit (ALEXIS) but, you can't win em all.

So hair's the deal. Your scalp produces oil, just like the rest of your skin.  It works its way from the root of your hair to the surface of your scalp at a rate that is unique to you.  If you have oily skin, you likely have an oily scalp, and if you're on the dry side, a dry scalp. If you have oily skin and fine hair, you may feel it's impossible to skip a day or you will look like a hillbillly before day's end.  Not so.  By over washing your scalp you're actually sending those oil glands into over drive -- she's washing all our hard work away, ramp up boys, we'll show her! -- and you actually end up with even greasier hair. Don't believe me? Just read: http://www.businessinsider.com/how-often-should-i-wash-my-hair-2015- 

It's going to take some time to teach your oil glands that they can just chill, but stick with it. Stay strong. And invest in a few products to get you through the non-washing days. I don't want any of you walking around looking horrible and blaming me, okay? The trick is to look like you've washed and styled, and it'll be our little secret that you haven't.

Have you heard of dry shampoo? (This might be old information for many of you, but I'm sure you agree, it's worth sharing.  Stay with me, there's good stuff at the end.) It's basically pressurized powder you can spray on the roots of your hair to absorb extra oil, and it will be your best friend on non-washing days. As with all beauty products, dry shampoos range in price and quality, and in many cases, you get what you pay for.  Fear not, loyal friend, I have most assuredly done the leg work for you and I will now share with you my top dry shampoo choices.  I am always open to suggestions, so speak up if you've found something that is especially bomb.

In my opinion, the best inexpensive have-on-hand option isn't actually a dry shampoo, but straight up baby powder, right from the bottle.  

Shake that magic gently on your scalp, let it sit for a minute and then brush or finger comb it out.  If you have dark hair or roots you're gonna have to work the powder in for a few minutes so it blends in. It's going to take some time to master, but be patient.  It works!  Think about the time when you were at that sophisticated dinner party and got salad dressing on your silk blouse and that supremely elegant woman came running with baking powder and told you to apply some to soak up the oil in order to get the stain out.  Never happened to you? Me either.  But, powder absorbs oil.  No difference if it's on your face, your shirt, or your head. It's science.  If you're looking to venture into the non-washing world, but don't want to spend much, or maybe use something you already own, this is where to start. One bottle will last you years, and the baby scent will make you feel sweet, even if you hate your coworkers/life/outfit that day.

If you're willing to jump right into the dry shampoo world, the best bargain dry shampoo I've used is Dove.  

It's got a nice clean scent and it's really light.  The advantage of a dry shampoo versus a powder is better precision from the aerosol spray head.  You can spray it exactly where you want it, let it sit for a minute and then work it through your hair.  It'll buy you at least a day, and it's great for after a work out (unless you're running a marathon.  Then feel free wash away).  Runners up in this price segment are Batiste and Pssssst!  Avoid Tressemme, it stinks.

The best luxury brand I've used is Living Proof dry shampoo.  

It's newer to the market and it's pricey, at least for my standards ($22 a bottle).  It smells great and is super absorbent.  Living Proof claims that, unlike normal dry shampoos which only soak up oil, their formula traps oil, sweat, and odor, and when the spray gets brushed/ finger combed out, all the gunk is completely eliminated.  I've used it a few times and I've gotten daaayys out of it (like 5).  Take a look:

No filter. Just for you.

On day one (last Thursday) I washed, dried and flat ironed, so it's remained straight and pretty good looking for 5 days.  Also I just taught a yoga class.  And I'm clearly not wearing makeup. Judge away.  I also like this stuff because it builds really good volume without feeling gritty.  This one is a game changer friends.  Go get a bottle.  

Alright ladies, hit me with your questions and concerns, and all you non-washing veterans, feel free to pipe up and tell the others how much better your life is, and how they, too, can have a better life. I understand everyone's hair and lifestyle is different, so I don't expect it's possible for most of you to be quite as lazy as I am. But if this can save you even a day or two, it's worth it, no? Now go forth and stop washing!

This is what two years looks like

Where do I start?  How about here:

Grace has seemed to understand that her parents really get into this kind of thing, and she willingly obliges us with faces and poses.  Not all of which work.  But her effort is always appreciated.

I think she has model potential, but if you ask her, she has princess potential.  ELSA potential.  She watched Frozen for the first time in spring at her Papa Giant's house and there was no going back.  It was love at first watch.  I thought she would be a little young to really "get it" but she will watch the whole movie, from start to finish.  I have a hard time paying attention to one thing for that long.  Not Grace.  She gets up and bops along to the songs, singing the lyrics to "Let it Go" and "Yowman." Mimi has gifted her with a few Elsa and Anna articles of clothing that I sometimes have to hide because they are alllll she wants to wear.  And she is the only one in this house with an enviable wardrobe so she is going to wear her cute clothes. Please Grace? NO. "Uh-uh, no.  No mommy.  No.  No mom." As I write this she's watching Toy Story 3 (she'll watch all of this one too, score!) and wearing Elsa leggings, a purple floor length Tinkerbell gown (THANKS MIMS) and Frozen socks, eating Scooby snacks from a Frozen tumbler.

And now is the moment where we collectively judge me for letting my not even 2 year old watch feature length movies.  I know. Screen time. But she's so lively and bright, I'm not too worried about it. PLUS I CAN DO STUFF. WIN WIN.

Here are some more things Grace is up to these days:

We spend a lot of time picking out outfits and trying on tutus.  A lot of time. I believe I am now more than qualified to work as a negotiator for the UN.



She can sing the entire alphabet all by herself. And she can count to 20!  Except she kind of has a speech impediment where she can't say the letter 'S' very well.  Yix, Yeven, you get the picture.  I'm not worried about it yet.  But her dad is. She knows all her colors, animals, fruits, vegetables, basically she's a real human now.  She also can't really say 'K' very well, so pink and pancake sound more like peent and pantate.  She also likes to say WATE UP MOMMY if I'm not quick enough to respond to something, which is completely condescending and totally hilarious.  Except for the time we were trying to go to sleep and she reached over, squeezed my throat and whispered "wate up mommy" quietly into my ear and I was actually a little freaked out.


She loves to play with dolls and babies, and Eric and I are continually amazed at how this seems to be hard wired into her.  We have trucks and cars and Storm Troopers that sit neglected on our toy shelves, because babies always win out. She enjoys having her little friends to join her on her daily adventures.  Also we've given each baby a distinct personality, which makes it extra fun for her, extra crazy for mom and dad to keep them straight.  I think she is going to adore being a big sister, although she is so tenderhearted I don't know if she's going to be able to take it.  She just has the biggest, softest heart and it doesn't take much to reduce her to tears.  Not always sad tears,  just, tender, unable to bear the feelings tears.  Especially mommies and babies -- they just push her over the EDGE and I'm PREGNANT so ME TOO.  We gotta buck up or we're never going to survive the spring.




She's a genius at playing pretend, she can keep herself busy for a half hour at a time, spinning creative little dramas with her dolls, buddies, sometimes her toes and fingers.  We were gifted a kitchen set from her idol big cousin Mya and that is her JAM.  Mac and cheese mommy?  Cookie mommy? Yamich mommy?  Yes please, Grace.  And a side of skittles please? Maybe a cherry Coke?  She's not a great eater lately, but one thing we can get into is going to Jimmy Johns and sharing turkey sub and a bag of "awful chips" (sea salt and vinegar.) She licks all the salt and vinegar off of them and kind of makes a wincey, cringey face the whole time, but she'd eat the whole bag if I'd let her.  I'm impressed.  She'll try almost anything and she's been known to switch her mind on things she's previously dismissed, although she prefers fruit snacks and i-ream from Mimi more than anything else.  If she wants more of something, food, finger paint, juice, she would like it "really high." As in, "more purple paint, yeah, really high!"

She loves to have her nails and toe nails painted and, amazingly, will sit patiently until they are dry. We clip her nails and hangnails with a nail clipper and, for some reason, she has equated this to asking for a clippy anytime she finds something wrong on her body.  Scrape on her knee..."clippy?"
Scab on her face..."clippy?"  Weird how these little brains work.

We are working on creating her big girl room and I'm hopeful she will be so excited to have her new space she will just crawl into bed, turn out the lights, and sleep 10 hours until the morning.  More likely, around midnight she'll join me in my bed and Eric will climb between the ballerina sheets and tutu duvet and we'll all sleep soundly till the morning.  Kids sleep habits are so hard to figure out.  God Bless you with littles that don't like to sleep alone.  May the good Lord grant you extra patience and a king bed.  Grace and I lay down together at night, a bad habit that started early in my pregnancy because I was just too tired to deal with our normal bedtime routine.  It started sweet and cute and efficient, now it's a masterclass in manipulation. The best thing to come of it though, is when she reaches over and pries open one of my eyelids and says, "Build a yoman, mommy?" Just like Anna asks Elsa in the beginning of Frozen.  Makes me smile every time.





She loves to play outside but after being spoiled by such delightful late summer and early autumn weather, she HATES to wear anything with sleeves. Or socks. "Dess on RIGHT NOW mommy!"  We're in for a long winter.  I miss her one-year-old cluelessness when I could put her in beanies and fuzzy vests and she wouldn't protest.  I admire her two year old spirit, though.  She's brave, independent, but still vulnerable and knows she's little and needs help. It's refreshing to witness little children's bravery. It can be literally a little dangerous, but I think we all could take notes from toddlers in this respect.  Be brave!  Try stacking the block tower a little bit higher.  Jump off two couch cushions instead of one. Say hi to someone new at the library, even if it is just a flag hung from the ceiling that has a picture off a scarecrow waving. (That happened.  It was hilarious.)  It's hard to find the balance of how much to help and how much to just let her figure things out. I think this is going to be a life long lesson, to always remember to step back and assess, am I doing this well?  Am I giving her enough freedom?  Enough support?  We have a tendency to over talk and over reason with her because she's so aware and bright, and we sometimes forget her two-year-old brain is only capable of so much, no matter how smart she is. She keeps us on her toes, and the process of raising her does, too.  Parenthood is the best education I've ever received.





As I am finishing this post, November 1st is coming to a close, and I have one more full day with my one-year-old.  There's so much more I want to say and remember about this sweet girl -- brushing teeth with Dada, her impressive manners (she said "excuse me dada" the other day when she needed to get around him.  I was stunned), when I shout "I love Gracie!" and she shouts back, "I love mommy!"  Or how she calls herself "mommy's girl," her love for paninis and mac and cheese, how she said, "Look mommy, yars!" when we got out of the car tonight, and proceeded to count as many stars as she could see.  I love this girl.  I remember feeling so bittersweet at the thought of her turning 1.  Now, I'm so excited that she's 2.  I've had her for two whole years, and every day with her has made me better, more appreciative, more humble, more thankful for life...what's to say every year with her won't make me more and more complete?  Motherhood...I like the way you look on me.  Thank you, Grace. And happy birthday!